Why did everything has to change?

Pretended I was deaf. I didn't want to listen what you were trying to say. But somehow inside me I knew you were right. You taught me how to be strong. You were my best friend, but also the only one I had.

I never felt safe until I met you. I didn't know what happines meant. In my hopeless world you were my only hope. There were no secrets from you I can keep.

I remember our first fight: it was a Friday night, it was cold and it was raining... it was the first time I saw you cry.

The next morning everything changed because I never saw you again. When I looked for you, your mom told me that you never came back last night. "Police is looking for him", she told me. I sat down in the floor. At 15:00 hours police found your death body in the river next to our secret place...

Once Upon a Girl

Feeling lonelyness? Thinking you are in nowhere?

Welcome to my world...

Hi! I'm EKA; of course that's not my name, it's just a nickname... Why? Because is always better to be unkown. My purpose is not to help you, actually I have no purposes, but I wanted to write this because I wanted to be listened, but no one wants to hear, so I decided to write because everyone is online 24 hours per day... so I hope that someone will read this and maybe I can find another person who feels exactly the way I do.

PART 1: The Fifteen
A year before my grandma had died and I was recovering my perfect life: my friends, my cute boyfriend, my popularity, my excellent grades, my pet, my mother, etc. So I thought: "everything will be the same now... or better, but definetly not worst". It was half true and half false because my happiness lasted less than a year: just in the blink of an eye my friends turned into unkown people, I couldn't deal with the school even with my parents and all what my boyfriend and I did is fight.

Part 2: The Sixteen

All my friends got a Sweet Sixteen. On the other hand, EKA, had a not so Sweet Sixteen because I didn't want a Super Sweet Sixteen Party, I wanted a trip across Europe, but my parents thought that it will be dangerous. WTF??? I was tired. I hated everyone. I wanted to be alone. So I broke up with my boyfriend, I walked away from every single person and I decided to worry 'bout myself and nobody else. But, as always, everything got worse: my mom discovered my father had cheated on her. How did she find out? Because the other woman called her, told her everything and sent pictures and videos... My "Sweet Sixteen" conclusion: my father had sex with a crazy bitch and ruined my life even more.

THANK YOU DAD!

Part 3: The Seventeen

Senior Year, is supposed to be a year to remember for all the good things you must pass and it "happened" to me: I graduated with honors , went to college, etc. However, I wasn't happy. I could handle the first few months, but then it became imposible. Altough I never got high I often got drunk. I had eating disorders. I had no friends because I acted in a very freak way. Finally, some time later, I started to slit my wrists...

WELCOME CUTTER!!!

Part 4: The truth

EKO didn't publish her story. She gave me her journal the night before she decided to kill herself. How do I know? Because, besides the journal, she gave me a letter:

"Cayetana:
I know we aren't friends but I've been watchin' you and if there is a person wich I want to be... is you. I beg you to write my story in a BLOG so you can support people envolving in similar situations, because I'm sure that if somebody had worried 'bout me, I probably wouldn't killed myself tonight, but nobody cares. I've heard 'bout your advices...CONGRATS!

love, EKO"

It was a very disturbing letter but she was right if, for once, someone cares for others, people would be less unhappiness. So, I decided to create this blog to show EKO's story and write about life.

Hope you like and enjoy it.

Send comments.

If someone wants to read Spanish version let me know! Greetings...

C@yetana